Keeping Perspective: Through Separation and Divorce

I had the opportunity to visit Halifax a few weekends ago - it’s a city I love and I have great history there!  I also have a 98 year old step-Nana who lives there and so I made sure to take the time to pop in and visit her.

And am I ever glad I did.

It had been two years since we last connected, and she continues to be so positive and upbeat about life – it’s amazing!  Obviously, at 98 years of age, one can’t help but have a unique perspective on life.  And by now, she’s clearly learnt how to roll with the ebb and flow of life, complete with all it’s struggles and all it’s miracles.  And she’s chosen to walk through it, with her head up and with a deep knowing that the tough times will pass and she’ll get through it all.  And she truly has!  It’s so inspiring to me!

So, I’ve taken up the habit of asking myself, when any problem or irritation arises – ‘what would by 98 year...

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What to Do When The Way Through is Unclear

Last eve there was a new moon – hooray!  It’s that time of month where we are asked to start anew – I absolutely love the possibility of that.  Start fresh.  Try something new.  Be a better version of yourself.

Whatever you’ve been struggling with, whatever is getting you down, whatever habit you want to stop doing.  The universe hands you another chance to start fresh, to try again, whatever you like.

When a situation feels hopeless and it’s impossible to see the right way out of it, I’ve taken this on as my mantra: Just Do The Next Right Thing.

And it’s amazing!

It really helps me drill down on what exactly I can do in this moment.  It moves me away from drowning in the hopelessness of a complex problem or situation that has no obvious positive outcome.

And with my kids, when they are pressing my buttons and I’m tired and just have little patience – this thought comes to mind - 'Just Do The Next...

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Great Expectations: Marriage and Divorce

I really enjoyed this article on societal and familial expectations surrounding marriage and divorce, I hope you do too!

What Elizabeth Gilbert's Divorce Can Teach Us About Relationships

What expectations did you find you had to to wrestle with as your marriage ended?  I know I felt like I'd disappointed a lot of my extended family, and that was just for starters.  More on this in an upcoming post!

Have a good week,

Lisa

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Old Friends: Re-Connecting after Separation!

After my separation I literally fell off the map...for years!

I hardly kept up with any of my old friends, and even when I did, the contact or the communication was very brief and usually inconsistent.  Thinking back on it, I felt a lot of shame and anger and grief about my marriage ending and how my friends would take me and what they would think!  (Honestly: I was also flat out overwhelmed with just basic day to day things like raising kids and working full-time.)

And so, apparently, my way of working through all those feelings (while keeping a job and raising good kids) was to become a bit of a hermit, and re-discover myself in solitude.

As in, what was it like to be me, with as little outside influence as possible.

I had to really get confident and straight about what was working and what needed to be let go of.  I needed to break it all down, way back to the very beginning, and just find myself again.  Or actually, find myself completely for the first...

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Imagine a World where this is Reality

I hope that one day, all families of separation/divorce can truly live each of these items wholeheartedly.

1) I believe that you can genuinely love/care about your ex-spouse.  You can fully respect them and have a peaceful relationship that includes a healthy dose of respect and loving care.  You have a lot of history together and you both have a serious interest in raising your children.

2) I believe you love your children more than life itself.  Everything you do - and especially, and likely most difficult at the beginning, how you relate to your ex-spouse - should come from a heart drenched in the love of your children.  How can you hate your ex when your kids think he/she is as awesome as you?

3) I believe amazing things can happen when you act from a place of love.  It's all about love.  Always.  No matter what the circumstance or scenario.  Do you react from a place of love or hate?  It's entirely up to you.  Even if the other...

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