We all know that going through a Separation/Divorce does a huge number on your self-confidence. Here's how Mirror work with positive affirmations helped me get through the slog.
So, your marriage ending is still very fresh, suddenly everything is new and you’re completely untethered from the life you used to know, from the life your future was based on. And while this is a really painful time, it will get better, and you’ll get through it. You will. For a time, being less sure of yourself is OK – I mean, when you doubt yourself, this brings upon self-reflection, which is extremely handy in making important internal changes and how you are out in the world.
However, there are times when it feels like ages and ages have gone by and you still don’t feel like you can handle your life, or if one more thing happens, you’re sure it’ll be the end of you – you just can’t handle any more uncertainty. When I was going through a particular low point – that seemed more like a never ending flood plane than a point - in my own separation, I was desperate to find a way out of the crappiness of it all. I'm normally a fairly optimistic person and I wanted to start shaking off all the negative feelings around self doubt and self worth and whether I'd ever be happy again.
So, when I came across Mirror work I figured - hey, why not, what could it hurt? I was grasping at straws, figuring something would work eventually? Right?
Initially I just did positive affirmations in my head, and then eventually this led to me saying them while looking in a mirror at my reflection. I was pleasantly surprised at how effective they were. What a powerful tool to help heal.
Here’s just a few examples, but you can make up whatever positive affirmation you that resonates with you:
I am smart, resourceful and whole.
I am a positive role model for my children.
I can overcome anything.
I am worthy of happiness.
I completely love and accept myself.
So, perhaps you’re rolling your eyes, thinking that it won’t work for you, it sounds too hokey or stupid. I totally hear you – but just try it anyways! Try it for 7 days and see how you feel about it.
Back to the positive affirmations though – for me, I simply repeated one or two of them, 7 times, while looking in the mirror - looking myself square in the eyes. I typically did this during my morning routine. Initially, saying it while looking myself in the eye was incredibly hard – cause I realized I didn’t completely believe what I was telling myself…which set off some soul searching of its own – oh my god the endless self-discovery of a marriage ending!
But for now, as you try this out, just Trust that you will sort out what the next right step is for you, but also be patient with yourself.
The more I did them the more I believed them, and eventually they became very helpful at counteracting the piles and piles of negative self-talk I had going on in my head. They helped get me out of my rabbit hole. Thankfully, the negative started to quiet down, and I started to feel like I was making headway again and just feeling more surefooted in my life.
Now, go ahead - try it! It can’t hurt and it might just become a tool you use with yourself for a lifetime!
And always remember to take it easy with yourself, life will get better,
PS. for more on Mirror work, here's a link to the Queen of all Mirror work - Louise Hay
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Together we can positively change the way families are affected by Separation & Divorce! :)