How are you handling stress in your daily life?
The past few months have been very dramatic and shocking in ways I never would have seen coming. Maybe you're feeling the same? It got me thinking about how well we manage stress, day over day, year over year.
You know those sparkling eyed 80 year olds that still seem so young at heart? That's how I want to end up :) ...but stress can really age you, it can wear you down quickly or slowly. It's a tricky one to wrangle.
So, I made a giant list of ways to keep my stress down or balance it out with some healing, so that over the decades of my life I will remain feel young at heart :)
1. sleep well (6-8hrs a night or on average the experts say!)
2. close your eyes & take 3 deep breaths (in...out...in...out..in...out)
4. read a book
5. meditate (a super easy one is to just sit somewhere with your eyes closed and become aware of your breathing)
6. smell the roses...
I was on a retreat a month ago that changed my life forever.
It was called ‘Seduction of Spirit’ and is put on by the Chopra Center, which was founded by Deepak Chopra.
I’ve been a HUGE fan of Deepak Chopra for over 20 years – I still vividly remember the first book I ever read of his, it was called How to Know God, and while it blew my mind at the time, it also rung so deeply true to me. Like when your soul knows it to be true, it resonates.
And ever since, I’ve kept reading his books when they interest me and I’ve seen him speak a few times when he’s come to Ottawa.
I have a Civil Engineering degree, so I’ve got a naturally scientific mind and I’ve always loved the way he blends science with spirit & mind/body concepts.
ANYWAYS, this retreat was primarily a meditation retreat – with lots of doses of yoga and talks with different mind/body teachers and researchers. It was also in Sunny...
Let’s face it – as your marriage ends and you start your new life as a family with two homes, the shitty situation seems enormous, almost unmanageable, and whether or not you can actually climb over a shit pile that huge appears doubtful a lot of the time.
And for a long while you may not even be able to tell which way is up and which way is down, and if you’ve made any progress out of all this shit at all.
It sucks. It really fucking sucks.
So, what can you do?
Believe it or not, you have choices.
What will you do?
I hope you’ll see beyond the shit. To your version of a great life.
Where you have someone to unconditionally love you and be your cheerleader in life. To raising well adjusted and resilient kids. Having the freedom to travel and vacation more often. Those are just a few of mine :)
Let that dream be your fuel, when you don’t think you have anything left in the tank.
What do you enjoy most in life and who do you love most? Where do you spend your money? Do you spend money in a way that is aligned with your values?
Now I know, Money can be a HUGE stress during those initial months & years after your family becomes a family with two homes -- or at any time frankly! But this is also an opportunity to give yourself a reality check.
I’m pretty good at math, so when my marriage ended, I knew the basic logic sucked – me and my ex made the same amount of money we did before we separated, except now we had to run two separate households – YIKES! And most people aren’t rich enough to have had two homes beforehand, unless you’re a celebrity!
Having money fears is totally normal BUT that doesn’t mean you need to ignore the whole topic and not deal with your budget and current financial situation.
I did this for a long while and my money fears didn’t subside – funny enough.....
We all know that going through a Separation/Divorce does a huge number on your self-confidence. Here's how Mirror work with positive affirmations helped me get through the slog.
So, your marriage ending is still very fresh, suddenly everything is new and you’re completely untethered from the life you used to know, from the life your future was based on. And while this is a really painful time, it will get better, and you’ll get through it. You will. For a time, being less sure of yourself is OK – I mean, when you doubt yourself, this brings upon self-reflection, which is extremely handy in making important internal changes and how you are out in the world.
However, there are times when it feels like ages and ages have gone by and you still don’t feel like you can handle your life, or if one more thing happens, you’re sure it’ll be the end of you – you just can’t handle any more uncertainty. When I was...