If all else fails and your marriage has to end, then let’s at least make the most of a bad situation and ensure a healthy gender balance going forward. Might as well start as you want to go on!
I mean, who really wants to look after their kids solo - 24/7 - until they are off to college/university? Not me. I mean not if I have any choice in the matter. I kiss the feet of single moms and dads out there, which is an incredibly hard gig.
No martyrs necessary.
Who cares if you think you can make a better meal than your ex. Or can play a better game of baseball with them. True fact: the kids certainly don’t care.
What they do care about is both of their parents being in their lives. In a meaningful way.
Even on the odd time, when my ex and I don’t alternate weekends, we do two or three weekends with the kids in a row, because the other is travelling. During these times, one or more of the kids always mentions that they miss daddy and want to know when he’s back and so on. They want both of their parents in their lives. Always.
And who are you kidding, you’ve got other things you want to do with your life too – date again – yeek!, advance in a career, hobbies, friends and family to keep up with – parenting isn’t your own shtick. Nor should it be.
So, let’s put down all the shoulds, musts, have tos, and feelings of societal obligation.
Feels lighter already eh?
And let’s just get on with co-parenting 50-50 with your ex.
You’ll learn new things, and so will he. And your kids will thrive with both of you in their lives. In a meaningful way.
This is the key to gender equality in the workplace, with financial equality, with happy families. It is the key to a lot of doors that all lead to fulfillment, happiness, and a life of abundance.
Wishing you all the best,
PS. This needs to become the default custody sharing arrangement for families around the world. In Canada, the Federal Government declared that it’s laws already took 50-50 co-parenting to be the norm, but that the provincial governments were within their rights to interpret the law as they choose. So, now this issue needs to be brought up provincially before it becomes the absolute default. Drop me a line and let me know what the laws say in your country or province!
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